If I had a magic power, it would be the power to skip the first 5 months of having a baby. Sure, this is when they’re the cutest and you establish some real bonding time, but it’s also the most intense and exhausting time of being a parent (so far).
I treasure every moment with my son when he was a newborn. I still go through all of his newborn photos and get weepy-eyed seeing him so small. But there were a lot of days I felt like jumping off our balcony out of boredom. I watched a lot of TV those first few months — I was a new mom and afraid of going out by herself with a little one. The whole world seemed twice as scarier as before so Miles and I stayed home a lot and watched The Walking Dead. I started to question if my newborn is getting some kind of second-hand effect from the television and I start guilting myself for exposing my child to early screen time. I didn’t sleep much during the first few months and it shows.
Having a newborn around it like being in traffic — you need just enough brain power to not crash, but you need so little enough of it that the rest of your brain doesn’t know what to do with itself.
Pregnancy wasn’t as fun for me and I was so nervous about pooping post-delivery that I could strongly say that fast forwarding to having a 5 month old baby would be just ideal. They’re just young enough to still be in the hit-my-head-against-the-wall-cute, but old enough to be a little more interesting where they can start eating solids and you can start giving them lemon wedges.
Also it wouldn’t be receiving a complete stranger at 5 months. I carried, birthed, and cared for a baby in about a 20 minute abstract dream, and I came out the other side well-rested and not missing any critical news or pop culture references.
Or you know, I would like the power of time travel.
If you could have any super power what would it be and why? Would it have anything to do with you being a parent or would it purely because you want the ability to eat gallons of Ben and Jerry’s and still fit in your skinny jeans.